And Tony, if you think that Chinese women "bend to their every whim," then you must not know Chinese women LOL. Chinese women have quite strong personalities in the home!

@mmteacher,

By your own admission, you believe that there is a "special code" that a man must speak in order for an American woman to talk to you while there is not with Chinese women. In other words, you are constantly "striking out" back home so the solution for you is to look for a Chinese gf/wife.

Two problems with that statement, 1) if you find it difficult to have a relationship with a hometown girl then by definition, you are a loser. And I'm not talking about having a failed relationship or two but to be constantly rejected to a point where you believe it would be impossible to have a relationship with any girl back home and need to start looking abroad.

2) By your own admission, you act no differently here than at home and you are able to attract the ladies here and as you also said, Chinese women have strong personalities as well thereby making them very similar to women back home, then why is it more Chinese girls pay attention to you? Isn't it obvious that the only thing different about you is your nationality? In other words, women here are attracted to you not because of you but because of the added bonus that you are an American, and that is something you, I am absolutely certain, play up. If you meet these same woman in the States, do you honestly believe they would give you the time of day? Something to think about.

PS, I don't believe Chinese women "bend to our every whim", on the contrary, I have dated Asian woman all my life, both in the States and in China and have been married to a Chinese local for 3 years, so I'm very much aware of the predispositions. I said that was something believed by loser laowais.

Now before you protest or call me a hypocrite, I did not specifically seek out Asian women, it just happens so because of my Asian heritage (I take after my mother), and I'm more desirable in the Asian community than in the general community (or so they tell me). However, I have dated whites, Latinos, Blacks, almost had a date with an Indian once but she cancelled. Ha! But anyway, by no means do I have any misconceptions about Chinese women nor do I seek out specific ethnic groups based on preconceptions.

Tony,

I assure you that I did not "Strike out with every woman" in the West. To the contrary, I learned how to play the game. However, I simply prefer not to play it. It is that simple.

@mmteacher,

Fine, I'll take you at your word since I do not know you personally and do not know your particular situation. However, I will still hold on to my beliefs. In the mean time, for evidence of the loser laowais I've mentioned (and the foreign gentlemen Kate has mentioned), one doesn't need to look further than our lovely classifieds.

While you may argue you are not one of those loser laowais I've described, it can hardly be argued that those people do exists and are probably very numerous, if not the majority of the expat community

chinesepod.com/[...]

@Tonyaod

I'm not a big fan of the word 'loser'. It implies that life is a competition, a race, where we derive happiness by feeling superior to others, and depression from feeling inferior to the 'winners'. Life is just a series of moments. Happiness shouldn't be derived from results/current status (which are temporary) things but from within.

Also, lets not start this bullying culture again, calling people losers because they date chinese girlfriends.

It's more about stating facts about Western men who come to China or South East Asia rather than bullying. There's no arguing that the vast majority of Western men in China and Asia made the move because they are completely incapable of holding on to a job or a serious relationship back home. The same Western men who constantly despise Chinese and Asian men and are hostile to Black and Arab/Muslim men back home, while their own Western women favour those guys. This is clear and neat, and pretty much everyone in this day and age is aware of those facts.

wow

These threads disappoint me with the general outlook always being you must be some kind of sad loser with no chance in life if you end up with a Chinese girlfriend/wife! Didn't want to comment but in the end suppose I'll add my small part....
When you meet a girl you can always tell after a while talking whether this ones for you or not and instantly she is in your mind a lot more than the other crap you had floating about before you met her. You can spot a girl who doesn't like you that much instantly as well, it's just I think some guys choose to ignore it and hope it changes, they be doing this with girls whether they chinese, english or whatever. Probably lack of confidence they had since primary school that's just followed them their whole life.

BUT don't be saying someone who has a Chinese wife is a loser in life because of who they chose to marry. I actually met my wife in London after she'd spent nearly 8 years there, she has a degree and is a great women for me in life, I came to China as she had already made her future plans to go back when met, I came for a couple of months first time just for extended holiday but when I got back to London, well, I thought China ain't that bad! Couple of months later, back again and staying for at least a couple of years while enjoying my new family life, next step, well me and my new wife not thought that far lol

Just from reading this thread, every time I see a foreigner now I'll be thinking is that their opinion of me without even speaking to me!!!

@yankee00 U give sweeping generalisations...not facts.