I do not think we have to give up our notions about dating and or marriage because we are in a new culture. I am married to a Chinese woman and we have had our ups and downs but we have stayed together for sevens years of marriage and more years of getting to now each other. And along the road I have seen a few Chinese/foreigner relationships come and go between friends and associates.

I would say in this case (with Rachelc) some boundaries have already been breached that in the west almost all western women who define as creepy at best. At least in terms of marriage talk so early on. Best be clear about one think with yourself; when this guy is discussing marriage with you he is dead serious and that is what he wants and it is not going to get less and less in this area but only ore and more.

The marriage issue is tied into the baby issue and he wants a baby from you. His family wants him him to have this baby with you as well. There is already talk over the dinner table about this and how get things rolling faster.

I knew, for example, a lady that was married to a Chinese guy. It was a strange relationship and the guy was definitively in charge of the plans in life. One included "the baby". How do I know this? well, the lady seemed to enjoy discussing all of this. After a while she got pregnant and sadly miscarried. It is still a sad thing as she wanted that baby so badly. well, not to fear. The family told her to take a month off and rest up, then get right back at it. Get on the next baby ASAP. She was a bit distressed and they left Kunming for another city or something and I never heard from her again as we were more co-workers than friends.

A male buddy of mine was always getting set up by the school leaders here with some single relative0f theirs who was pushing 30 and entering the danger zone. He finally got set up with a gal he liked and yet om the first date she scared him off with marriage and baby talk. When he finally agreed to a second date with the promise of going slower he soon found that going slower to her meant asking him again about babies before the food had even arrived.

So, when he is talking about marriage do not think it is something he is going to forget or change his attitude about regardless of what lip service he gives. He wants to marry you and he wants you get on popping that baby out for his family and cultural commitments. Have fun.

tl:dr:

only zhulaoye and his wife are smart enough to go through the hardships of multicultural relationships. Everyone else is romantically inept.

Oh my... I'm not sure which is scarier, his talk of marriage and what I want our children to look like, or your unrelenting list of intercultural dating horrors

( don't forget u agreed to name ur first-born David)

Even if it's a girl.

If its a girl then the name "Davina" is perfectly acceptable :)

Cultural differences can be a blessing - something to talk about. We took hers (Chinese) and mine (American), worked through it and came out with our own. Works well!! Cheers -JJ

Please see my classified post. I understand a lot of what has been written in this post. I am a sincere Chinese guy looking for someone new :)

Discussing the possibility of marriage on a first date is fair game. I'd be pretty annoyed if I dated someone for three months only to find out that they had no interest in ever getting married. Some people take relationships seriously, and some people just like to have fun. These two types of people shouldn't be dating.

Don't break his heart, tell him the truth, that marriage hasn't crossed your mind yet .