Why does one particular Italian restaurant, that makes really good, authentic pizza, offer expensive "Bruschetta" that is, in actuality, nothing more than a toasted Western hamburger bun? Why???

In a word: Money.

@billdan - i have just coming back from a wonderful trip to china...and Kunming has happen to be one of my fav city in China..and the foods are the most exciting thing to try..unfortunately after i have read all your comments..i believe that u should just stay at your whatever county!!!...you dont deserve to be in china at the first place.. it okay for u not to like the food...it does happen to me too...and its normal..but to hate them n to make lousy comments on that...i think its so cheap..and i think u dont deserve to b anywhere other than your whatever country too..i just cant deal with cranky and full of bad attitude people..OMG

Will no one list actually good KM dishes?

* Chao Erkuai (my fave KM dish)
* xiao chao rou (simple stirfry of beef/pork with soy, chili, garlic, and green onion, and sometimes a little huajiao. I have no idea why it's so satisfying to me...)
* Erkuai bao youtiao (awesome street breakfast: a donut wrapped in a rice-flour gordita smeared with sweet peanut sauce)
* Mugua ji (chicken with a local tangy fruit; kind of like preserved lemon)
* many many kinds of mushrooms (stirfried or hotpot)
* Ru Bing (firm local goat cheese— best in little panfried sandwiches with yunnan ham in the middle; dip in sugar or peppersalt)
* Dai anything (missing good pho? get niu ba hu with xi mi xian, BYO mint, tho)
* Lu Ersi - A fantastically chewy and tender rice noodle (actually long strips of erkuai) stirfried in a thick spicy bean sauce...maybe too close to mixian for you?).

* Funny little sweet purple pancakes (don't know what they're called, you can get them at laofangzi)
* Some enormous pork rib thing (try it at 1918 gare le sud)
* Chrysanthemum greens salad with fresh chilis (yes, raw veg in China!)
* Fried shredded potatoes with pickled chive buds
* sweet and sour spareribs, usually there's a hint of sichuan peppercorn in the sauce
* stir-fried lilies with yunnan ham
* any of the tons of different pickles! Sour: Cucumber, lotus, rolled tofu skin, liang pi; sweet/sour/spicy: pineapple, tiny radishes, green plums.
* shaokao. seriously, you're clearly doing it wrong. Don't buy from the little metal stands that pop up at night; go to a proper place with the huge array of stuff on sticks (that's actually kept frozen until they day it's used!). The spice mixture here is unique to KM. Try the whole eggplant stuffed with pork, or the fish in chili paste, and especially the enoki mushrooms and the lotus root with glutinous rice.

(Yes, you're SOL if you're vegetarian and don't eat spicy food...)

yay joshwa for mentioning erkuai/ersi (which IS unique to yunnan...i don't think there's much/anything that's unique to only KM...)

*豆花米线 douhua rice noodles are usually not very spicy and some places don't even make it that oily either.
*cold rice noodles are also pretty good
*also, a lot of 盖饭 isn't very spicy either

as for eating vegetarian, i'm not sure how much it will help you, as custom orders are always difficult to maneuver in china=) but you might try 我吃素的, or 我不能吃肉, 只要素菜.

the fresh fruit is also pretty awesome here

Erkuai/ersi is not unique to Yunnan (well maybe the name is). I've had sticky chopped up rice cake cooked up elsewhere in China, and better too. Koreans do something similar too, and better also. Granted, this stuff is easier to find in Yunnan.

The chao erkuai here is just smothered in oil and sauce, so it wouldn't matter if they used great erkuai or cardboard. If I had more talent or angst or both, I could do a BillDan style rant, but alas, I'm just a foodie amateur. Bill, where do you get that inspiration!

Inspiration or exasperation?

Exasperation is endemic in China. Inspiration is harder to find. I think BillDan's rants are on a par with Laotou's. May their fingers never tire.

Must every thread turn into a rehash of the original "Kunming sucks the life out of me" thread? This is well-trod ground, people. None of you is as fun a troll as gaoxing, so stop trying, please?

@AlexKMG: I much prefer erkuai over korean/taiwanese/japanese rice cakes. I like how dense and toothsome they are, they hold sauce better, and they don't stick to your teeth. Plus they are served in a far wider variety of forms/dishes besides stir-fries.

And don't knock the sauce! Would you be complaining as much if you lived in hip-chinese-food-province-of-the-moment Sichuan (hot right now in the States, anyways) and everything had doubanjiang or huajiao in it?

I'm eating chao erkuai leftovers at this very moment. Yum!

@joshwa

Sichuan cuisine isn't the province of the moment. It's more like the province of the last couple of hundred years with regards to cooking.

Almost nothing in Kunming tastes good as leftovers. That chao erkuai must be half decent then. Where do you get your chao erkuai? I'm willing to be open minded and give it a try, to see if Kunming has good sticky rice cake.