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Stares, pictures without authorization and so...

Karina17 (70 posts) • 0

Hello,
I have just arrived in Kunming a few days ago, I will be working here for a year or more if it goes well.

I already knew people will look at me on the street since I am foreigner, moreover I have already been to Japan and South Korea so I am kinda use of it.
But Chinese people stare differently ! I mean, they REALLY stare at you non-stop.

I am not to sure how to cope with it. Should I stare as well ? Should I avoid eye-contact ? I have tried a couple of time to smile to them when they stare at me, but I didn't get any smile back...

As well, I have been photographed without authorization.

I was just sitting down in the lobby of my condo and suddendly a student (I live on a campus) came very close to me and took pictures without asking or even saying anything... just like at the zoo ! I was really uncomfortable with that, but it was the first time to face this kind of event, so I had no idea how to react.

So ? Is that rude to stare back ? Is it common to be taken in pictures like that ?

How do you usually react to this kind of behaviour ?

yankee00 (1632 posts) • 0

Put a small booth between the street sellers on Wenlin Jie or Cuihu and write on a board "20rmb for a picture with a foreigner".

Liumingke1234 (3297 posts) • 0

It is normal. Think how a black person feels in China. Some want to touch your hair or your skin and look at you as if you were an animal at the zoo as you said. It's just the way it is. What I do is I ignore them. I just look pass them. It's a case by case basis. Sometimes it doesn't bother you so much and other days you just don't feel like dealing with it. They can be rude and impolite but they can also be just curious with no ill intentions. You'll get use to it.

blobbles (958 posts) • 0

You'll get used to it, most of the time just ignore it. If you let it get to you, you won't last long here as it is constant.

If someone REALLY stares at me these days I usually smile and wave. And I tend to think this is the best way to deal with it as it gives them a small buzz and at the same time allows you to think of it as a positive, not as something to hate. Generally after smiling/waving or both the starer will react shyly and slink away. Of course the greater effect is on you. If you think of it negatively all the time you will be literally yelling at people within a few months!

Photo's are different, a lot of Chinese people also don't like having photos taken so if you don't want your picture taken you can just say so (do you know how?). Otherwise you can embrace it and think of it positively with positive reaction - a smile or the two fingers held up like Chinese people always do.

And basically we are treated as zoo animals here for the casual observer. You need to get over that or again it won't be long before you leave. Don't make something big out of it in your own psyche and you will be able to see past all the staring quite quickly.

I literally had two guys stop a truck in front of me about 20 minutes ago just so they could stare at me (obviously country boys dropping off veggies!). I went up to their window and shook their hands! They loved it and drove away laughing and slapping each other - a positive experience for them and made me laugh honestly as well. I aren't suggesting you do this to everyone, but I encourage you to think of ways to make the staring positive not negative for your own sanity!

AnnAurora (36 posts) • 0

I once had a man following me on the street with a video camera filming me. I started to walk faster and then running and he started to run as well. Got a cab and he pushed the camera to the window. That was by the electronics market not far away from wenlin jie.

When I get tired of people staring I just wear big sun glasses. People stare a bit less then. When people take photos I usually just cover my face and turn around if they haven't asked for permission and are being annoying.

What I think is amusing though is how a lot of people presume that just because you are a foreigner you wont be able to understand Chinese.

Liumingke1234 (3297 posts) • 0

You can also wear a mask along with the sunglasses. What @bobbles said is right on point. Don't let it make you angry because then you'll be angry a lot.

HuangJin (7 posts) • 0

That is really interested. This is happening every single day. As for your questions, my answer is "let it be." YOu really dont need to react, really! If you dont like it, just let them know you dont like the way they are doing this. As you konw, most of us think what we are doing is appropriate, even though it is totally wrong.

Quester (233 posts) • 0

True, having a positive attitude about it helps. Still, I can be uncomfortable when someone without permission takes a photo of my child. If I see them about to do it, I might stand in front of my son to block their view.

But actually, taking photos is less intrusive than some of the other things people try to do to him without permission, like pinch his cheeks, or hug him or even pick him up and try to carry him away to show off to their friend across the street! Do they think he is a person or a toy? What if I went up to a random stranger and tried to hug them? Or carry them away?

So the challenge I face is to remain polite and respectful as I try to prevent my son from being (however temporarily) kidnapped!

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