here's the article i mentioned, in case anyone is interested.

i don't know how much truth there is to his hypothesis and if he's making too many sweeping generalizations. but this laowai seems to have put quite a bit of thought into chinese women.

middlekingdomlife.com/[...]

While it is true that not every woman in China can be diagnosed with a narcissistic personality disorder, it would be fair to say that many Chinese women will, at the very least, exhibit some such traits as described above. Even among those who are not pathologically narcissistic, most (especially women from middle- and upper-middle class families) will develop compensatory defenses and behaviors in regard to men and in the management of their children and households. These are typically expressed in the form of control and dominance, power struggles, hypercriticism, and "cold wars" when frustrated or disappointed.

Daughter of the devil, haha, man you for sure got that right. Finding someone who will really love you, now that is definetly a life journey. Like Mom always told us, if she loves you, you'll know it, and if she doesn't, well that will be very obvious as well...Just go about your life doing what you love, when the time is right, the 2 will meet.

liumingke, i dont meet women at the bar. mostly from people i know, either business, friends, or acquaintances.

your lucky that your lady dont conform to the norm, all i get normally is the question do you have your own house? what do you do for a living? even to the worst part a question that ask how much do you earn in a year bluntly on a first date.

you probably look handsome enough, im thinking i may be uglier than you than when they talk to me they may think to themselves " at least his got to have money "

haha

haha, it's nice to see i'm not the only one with horror stories.

you haven't LIVED unless you've been asked how much you're worth on a first date and been in a 'cold war' with a narcissistic chinese woman from HELL.

You guys are funny. Yeah, I know I'm lucky. I could've been stuck with a "daughter of the devil". My wife is a traditional woman and perhaps that's why it's worked out for me. By traditional I don't mean she walks 3 steps behind me and says "yes, master". Ha.ha. I've meet my wife's friends and they always want me to hooked them up with a 老外 but I dare not be responsible if it fails. A lot of 老外's can be dickheads. All they want is to get laid and move on to the next. That's okay if you're a teenager or in your 20's but the time comes when you got to step up your game. So I'm glad I'm past that stage. Don't get me wrong, I still 'look' (eye candy) but can't touch the merchandise. Not if I want to kept what I have. :-).

Here's a method. When they ask you how much you make, you lie and say, "Well, I'm paid by a US company, so I'm not sure how much it is in RMB". Haha, that will get the other party thinking you're financially well off. So, let that simmer for a few weeks and see if she really does care about you. If she does, whatever you do, DON'T get romantic with her. Tell her you lied about your income as a test of her true feelings towards you. If she really does love you, she'll forgive you for your fib. If not, you're out of luck.

This method sucks, forget it. It will take at least a year of serious dating to know if she really cares about you.

In fairness, the question, 'how much do you earn?' is little more than basic chit-chat here. Some of us consider it rude to ask direct question about money.
Other usual questions. Are you married? Why not? Do you have Children? Why not?.

In some countries, I think the Netherlands may be one, it is considered rude to ask, "What job do you do?". This is because it pegs your income, and in an egalitarian society that is not good.

Even innocent questions can peg your status.

Where do you live?
East LA/ 8 Mile/Wandsworth.

I agree. When you ask a woman her age here in China, it's not such a big deal as it is in the States. However, recently asking a woman her age is becoming a taboo question from my experience. If anyone has the balls to ask you how much you make then your answer should/could be:
1. Not much
2. I don't know, I haven't got paid yet.
3. Less than you.

right I like that one, less than you, that will send them into a headspin

I often deflect money questions, with answers like 'too much', 'not enough'.

How much did your XXXX cost?
Too much.