Forums > Living in Kunming > How does one meet nice Chinese women?
Being the only woman in this discussion is not very easy, but since this discussion seems imbalanced I'd like to share my opinion.
"I find that Western women tend to want an ideal of a man — the perfect man — who has the right line and does the right things. If I approach a Western woman, I am supposed to speak just the right lines, be funny, say just the right jokes, stand the right way, pose the right way, and have just that right sentence or word. But Chinese women, if I am just friendly and natural, they will talk to me. That is the main difference to me."
I was in the States just for holiday, so I can only talk about "approaching European girls", but this is the most stupid thing I heard so far. Have you spoken to one of your female friends about it? Im pretty sure, they could have given you some advice for the next date. It's just another way of saying that you dont know how to approach girls and are very insecure. The difference with Chinese girls, the ones without rich laowai experience, is that they think this (what seems weird to Westeners) behaviour is typically foreign. Some of them also dont bother too much, as the foreigner can provide them with other things (not meant in a negative sense).
I have a couple of very good friends who came to China for job reasons or for studying. They all have Chinese girlfriends/wives now and Im very happy for them as they never had a real relationship back home since I can remember.
So, where did my friends find their girlfriends/wives?
1. at University in China and back home
2. Language exchange in China and back home
3. When travelling around China
4. at work (the girl used to be his translator)
For me a looser laowai is someone who comes to China, finds a Chinese girlfriend, makes her pregnant and then forces her to have an abortion, because he already has a family back home or doesnt want to take responsibilty. Then these guys go onto the next Chinese girl and it starts all over again. Some of them are even so kind to pay for the medical expenses.
And finally, why me and my girlfriends are not attracted to Chinese men. We all had Chinese boyfriends though and I only speak from our experience. In terms of physical attraction, most Chinese men have the body figure of an adolescent back home. But, look is only one part of attractiveness. In terms of character and personality, there are three groups of Chinese men. One is submissive, bossy/imperious and the thrid group is "I want a foreign girlfriend trophy". The second and third groups are the worst. We experienced things like "Can you put on some sunblocker?! I want you to stay white", 'I want sex now' ' I dont want to' ' I dont care, I want. You are my girlfriend, so it's your duty to make me happy', 'I want to get married next year and I want to have a son', 'I dont care if you want to leave me, I wont let you leave me. I know your passport number and I have proof that you worked illegaly in China". And so on. When you break up, they will stalk you, call your friends, show up at your house and workplace, call you so often that you need to change your number and your email address. Two of my friends went back home, because of them. Some of the Chinese guys even had degrees from Western universities.