Well answer the question, are you married to a chinese woman or not?

You should give it a rest because this thread is about the pros and cons of grandparents as caretakers. No one is saying that another culture is right or wrong or that someone has to change their culture. So don't try putting words into other people's mouths.

Pro - i think it keeps them alive longer and kinda gives them a reason to live

Con - it can be very hard work for them. I hate to see old grannys sweating and struggling in the hustle and bustle outside schools and on the public busses during peak hours.

"Them" = the grandparents

@faraday
Totally agree. These kids are very energetic and I often seen them running after them. I don't think they grandparents should have them all day especially if they are not living with them. Maybe on weekends or alternate days. This way they can recover from all that energy these kids have.

Wholesale adopting your spouse's culture and sublimating your own isn't multicultural, its just a bizarre form of cultural abandonment, and one that will seriously mess with the resulting kids' minds and create some utterly bizarre issues of racial and cultural superiority.

Regardless of the "Chineseness" of the idea of including grandparents (funny, now the 5000 year old history includes one of the most common human practices... curious if they get a territorial claim on anywhere grandparents live with the family now, since its part of the glorious middle kingdom's culture that has never been changed or adopted outside ideas) I grew up with my grandparents, and despite their rather warped views on the world, it was an overwhelmingly positive experience that informs my daily life.

Very restrained of you hugo .

Pro - You can teach them how to use the iPad at the same time.

Con - You may have to buy two iPads after.

For my child, both sets of grandparents are on the other side of the ocean, so to have time with grandparents would be a precious treasure.

For sure, grandparents would have more accumulated wisdom that they can pass on.

But I also think grandparents should be able to have their own life too, and not always be on call as babysitters.

Of course it can be an economic issue, if both parents need to work to make ends meet, then the cost of a babysitter can be a burden. But should the burden of the parents be passed on to the grandparents? That question might be answered differently by different cultures.

many of my friends were raised by grandparents due to having two working parents. Now in our 20's, we appreciate that time with our grandparents, whatever wisdom/cultural gems we gleamed, more than ever.

Yes there are culture clashes, yes its tough for the parents to have THEIR parents around, but having the chance to bond with grandparents is a luxury not everyone has, and should be cherished.

PLUS, huge pro - having three factions in the household (parents, grandparents, child) leads to easier conflict resolution... because someone always mediates. UNLESS every one is mad at the kid. Then he/she must've really done something wrong and deserved it ;)

pro 6 pockets one mouth, con more people to play off against each other, especially if there are other tensions for the kid to leverage. yes kids really are that smart, ask anyone who has been through a divorce with kids in the mix.

@ lilibyrd

Haha yeah, very true!