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Anxiety / Panic Disorder?

Liumingke1234 (3297 posts) • 0

@mr_microphone
You said that you have been with her for 3 years!!!!!!
Something's not right.
There is a thing called 'an enabler'. Is it possible you are 'an enabler? Why haven't you've gotten married yet. What are you waiting for, the right moment? I don't know how old you are but I've learned that you are either going to 'commit' 100% or not at all. This is my second marriage. I got married one year after meeting my then girlfriend. Was she always like this? I don't see the relationship lasting much longer. Don't wait for another 3 years to pass by.

yankee00 (1632 posts) • 0

You got married after 1 year of dating? What are you, Chinese?

Liumingke1234 (3297 posts) • 0

No. I'm experienced. I know a good women when I see one. Ha.Ha. Been married for 8 years now. hehe.

When it's right why wait?

HFCAMPO (3062 posts) • 0

As a few people have previously alluded, diagnosis or treatment will be nearly impossoble here in Kunming. Perhaps a province in the east MAY find a solution but I doubt it. I am willing to take a guess that your partner is not very old (less than 30). You mention that here mother has similar issues and that she had these attacks prior to your 3 years together. I don't see that there is much you can do at this point.

As another member here boldly asked, are you willing to stay and stick it out and see her through this (marriage)? If not, you may a stressor causing her problem.

I know it is hard to abandon someone when you truly care for them but the real question you must eventually face first is will you stay and marry or leave as this may be a cause of her problems.

As for me, I would never consider medication as a solution but changing behavior in anyone over 25 is nearly impossible without a miraculous or life changing event taking place.

Liumingke1234 (3297 posts) • 0

One of many things I've learned a long time ago is: You can't help anyone if you can't help yourself first.

laofengzi (376 posts) • 0

the medication to treat these disorders are sedatives. so no luck if she goes that route. even IF she could get a script they will only issue a 3 to 7 day supply sinces those meds are abusable. so enjoy going to a large intl hospital, waiting in long lines and wasting a few hundred yuan per week.

yankee00 (1632 posts) • 0

You'd first have to see if she accepts the fact that she has social anxiety and is willing to take actions to cure it, as it is ruining her life. This might take time, and even more in China where accepting to have a psychological disorder would be a massive loss of face.
"Heart conditions"... Do you mean like palpitations and tightening of the chest? Those are common occurences during panic attacks in social anxiety.

yankee00 (1632 posts) • 0

Anyone taking psychoactive drugs as medication would be at risk if there is no proper and regular follow up from qualified therapists.

People are now turning to CBT to cure social anxiety as it has been proven to deliver positive results.

laotou (1714 posts) • 0

First, you'll need to understand mental illness is usually incurable. It can be controlled - but similar to addictions - there is no known cure. In order to help your partner, she must first TRULY acknowledge that she actually has a problem, then actually WANT to change.

As @yankee notes - china - to include most of Asia - simply ignores mental illness. They pretend it doesn't exist and try to hide it - especially Japanese - where it's a horrible stigma that becomes attached to your officially recorded family tree history.

I would probably look into the traditional chinese medicine physicians first - but get a referral to someone experienced with mental illness. Dietary changes can sometimes help reduce the effects of anxiety attacks - but you need to be sure she's generally healthy (no glucose or sugar/diabetes related issues, etc). Getting on a healthy diet, shopping, and cooking together (not to mention cleaning up the mess later) is a healthy activity for couples. I'd suggest getting a french cookbook and planning out daily menus together - then having set meals, shopping excursions, etc, but I'd definitely avoid alcohol products of any kind.

Secondly - as her mother also experienced symptoms of mental illness - you can probably guess it's genetic - so you should be aware it's possible to transmit to children - if you both decide to go that route.

You should research the illness and contemporary treatments both yourself and with your partner.

As with HFCAMPO, I strongly advise against western medications except as an extreme measure. Western medications are usually addicting, toxic, have a large variety of side effects, and the body eventually builds up a resistance to these drugs (requiring one to detox or switch to a similar medication - with a brand new set of vast side effects).

I'm NOT a physician - so take that advice as you will - but I would absolutely recommend a lifestyle change (but do it slowly, methodically, and kindly), beginning with a dietary change. Be cautious with meats, cut out breads (basically look into gluten free diets) - no sodas, anything with corn syrup or fructose sweeteners, go organic where possible and definitely no junk food, no BBQ, etc.

Next - put her and yourself into a regular schedule, to include exercise - it can be at a gym or as simple as taking regular walks together. My wife loves long walks together - both alone and with the kids.

Finally - if she gets pregnant - you MAY be in for a whole new episode of crazy - pregnancy significantly changes a woman's body - it can be a calming effect - or it can make her totally irrational and insane - hope you're long-suffering if you're planning on breeding together - especially if the symptoms begin manifesting themselves in your children...now you REALLY can't run away (you could, but you don't strike me as that kind of person).

I had a sweet, beautiful, but crazy insane fiancee. She married someone else - hopefully far more patient, sensitive, and caring than I - dodged that bullet. Your significant other's mood swings will affect you - so if you genuinely want to commit to this woman AND it's reciprocal - you'll also need to learn how to manage her mood swings - and I know of no support groups in China that cater to mental illness. Maybe you can start one under a USA or other country's charter.

You MIGHT consider christian groups - but I'm not a fan of prayer, as I'm not a fan of god(s), deities, and their ilk, either.

I wish you both well and hope you'll both be able to develop a livable, sustainable solution to your partner's disorder and living with it (versus suffering through it). She must be one very incredibly special young lady for you to stick with her for three years. Either that, or you're a clinically self-destructive masochist.

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