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Do NOT marry a Chinese woman

yankee00 (1632 posts) • 0

Wow, people are so quick to jump to cynical conclusions here. Do we know if OP' wife is going through a phase? Is she going through a stressful life moment? Is she on her periods? Is she pregnant? Have they initially both tried to find a common ground or compromises for the differences that intercultural couple will encounter? It's widely known that Chinese don't like to express their feelings through words.

Liumingke1234 (3297 posts) • 0

I agree. We only have one side. Is the OP unfaithful, abusive, unsupportive, a slacker? Who knows? Maybe he is the one that has made her the way she is now. I am married to a Chinese woman and I am very happy. She's an amazing woman. If you are not happy then move on. It's not going to get better.

Alien (3819 posts) • 0

Either the poster really means this about ALL Chinese women, in which case the post is ridiculous; or he's just complaining about his wife. If it is the latter, why bother to discuss it here?

KMdragon (17 posts) • 0

I feel confused. I think that it's neither 100% my fault nor 100% her fault. Anyway, @Alien, yes it is the latter, answer is because I don't know where else to discuss it. And I don't know how much is reasonable, am I really meant to do everything myself (earn money, cook, clean, take care of things) to count as a good husband? I am not unwilling to cook, problem is I can't cook, especially not Chinese food, and my wife is "unable" to eat anything else. So I do my best to wash dishes, clothes, mop, sweep, but if she ever sees me resting it means I am lazy. Maybe I am, I don't know. Kunming doesn't really allow one to have a full-on, busy, successful career type job. I just need to "speak only when spoken to" I think, then things will be okay.

Liumingke1234 (3297 posts) • 0

You definitely need a divorce. It's hard enough when two people are from the same cultural background. Better now than later where you will have more regrets.

redjon77 (510 posts) • 0

Wow so quick to suggest divorce, marriages are meant to be work at some point aren't they? Some just have up and downs, the ups are great and yes the downs will be bad!!

yankee00 (1632 posts) • 0

Yep, now it does indeed sound like you are being abused, maltreated and taken advantage of. Have you been discussing those issues with her when you were both calm?

Quiteone (8 posts) • 0

My wife is Chinese we have been married 3+ years now and still in honeymoon mode may it never ends.
Fantastic wife I am treat like a king spoilt rotten, have to keep reminding her she is my WIFE not my SLAVE.
Finely convinced her I can brew coffee, and make a cup of tea, also can handle the kitchen to knock up a meal. Yankeeoo you are quite right what you say with Chinese and expressing their feelings in words you have to be patient and work on that side of things it will bear fruit in time and well worth the effort, and life just gets better all the time.

Very happy man from the west

Liumingke1234 (3297 posts) • 0

@Quiteone Same here. My wife spoils me rotten. OP how long have you been married? When did she change or was she always like that and you thought it was 'cute'. Love is blind and we sometimes tolerate things that really shouldn't be tolerated. In an abusive relationship divorce is the ONLY in my view. The older you get the less time you have for bullshit relationships. I can't tell you how many times I've heard women say "but I love him"! All the while getting knocked around, abused both phyiscally and verbally. I believe in working things out when both parties want to work on a solution. If you are unhappy, get out and find someone else that will make you feel complete.

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