GoKunming Forums

Do NOT marry a Chinese woman

KMdragon (17 posts) • 0

She will get stupidly angry if you are two or three minutes late, but happily make you wait an hour. At home, she will hit you, maybe throw things at you. Even if you say sorry one hundred times for some little thing, she won't talk to you. She will expect impossible miracles like you getting from Nanping Jie to the North of the city in 5 minutes. She will oppose you getting a good night's sleep. But these aren't important. The important thing is that she will almost never say "I love you", so you have absolutely no idea whether or not she loves you.

yankee00 (1632 posts) • 0

Sorry to hear that. Things can also get even more dramatic if they are in the middle of hormonal changes, like during menstruations or similar.

It's also important to not rush into marriage. I reckon a couple needs to live together at least two years to get to know each other at home, especially if they come from different cultures and more importantly if the way of thinking and reasoning is different.

Anyway, I hope things get fixed soon. You obviously care about your wife.

KMdragon (17 posts) • 0

Thank you. As you may have figured, I guess I exaggerated a bit, since I right now am still in the heat of the moment. But the last sentence is true, regardless of perspective on whether it is good/bad etc., that last sentence really is the case.

laotou (1714 posts) • 0

Actually, the title of the thread is NEVER marry someone like @KMdragon's wife! That's the purpose of the courtship period - carefully observe and analyze her behavioral anomalies.

I'd say dating - but the goal of dating isn't necessarily marriage - American cultural phenomena popularized by Hollywood - as if that were a good role model to follow.

You are unfortunately the recipient of spousal abuse.

Although not one to offer marital much less relationship advice of any particular value - as these things appear to bother as opposed to endear her to you - suggest you use the mirror approach to reflect her behavior for her consideration - in the event good old honest, sincere, loving face-to-face communication fails to enlighten.

My favorite scenarios:

1. Chronic and Ludicrously Excessive or Microscopically Miniscule Tardiness - jump on your soapbox and and wildly bitch her out for being late without calling or we chatting. Your excuse for your insane behavior - you were worried sick she'd been in some accident, kidnapped by aliens, spontaneous combustion, etc) and if you'd known she was gonna be late - you could have gone to foot massage, had a beer, hard BBQ & played foosball at Moondogs (tomorrow nite), etc ad infinitum.

2. She Throws Things at You. Never learned to play catch? If you miss the object - pick up anything nearby and hurl it back. If she was aiming for you - teach her how to throw more accurately. As a man, you should choose something significantly larger and heavier. That should be a LOT of fun.

3. Spousal Physical Abuse. Well - I'd probably skip this one...but...you might get away with it if you decided to teach her some self defense moves in the event of some event from item 1 above occurred.

Actually - spousal abuse is great - assuming you don't have kids or have significant financial investment into the relationship (like business partners, she has access to your significant assets, etc). It's a great opportunity to revive old habits - bar hopping, getting slammed (drunk), smoking like a chimney EVERYWHERE (including in bed - but that will probably nix hiney), and if you're not getting hiney at home - well that's why adultery aka "open relationships" were invented.

All of the above guaranteed to open her eyes - or spirit you towards the freedom of the next relationship(s).

Difficult to see humor or even how to respond with humor, when your significant other has put you on an emotional roller coaster (emotional abuse), but someone in the relationship needs to be the rock or anchor, but if you don't draw the lines in the sand - life won't improve and you'll both be miserable (unless one or both of you are masochistic, in which case - enjoy!!?!).

Liumingke1234 (3297 posts) • +2

It's a silly title thread. "Do NOT marry a chinese woman". If you are single for a period of time in China, chances are that you WILL marry a chinese woman. The odds are in favor of it.@KMDragon obviously you pick the wrong wife. It happens whether she's Chinese, American, British, etc. Get a divorce and try again. Don't waste time trying to make a crooked line straight!

laotou (1714 posts) • 0

Difficult to be surgical when one loves one's spouse. I'm guessing @km still loves his spouse - but wait a while - the distinguishing line between love and hate is thin and love can easily be worn down.

Dazzer (2813 posts) • 0

this post is really about never marry the wrong woman. spouse abuse works both ways. poster may have married for love, wife many not have or has found out husband is not the guy she tyougt he was and now feels trapped. situration posted is also often true back home without the racial mix.

message to op. you have an abusive wife, race has nothing to do with it. i have seen this before and guess what? it won't getter better. if she don't love you, the more you tell her the more she will hate you. the more you applologise the more guilty she will assume you are. it is heart breaking but reality. if you don't have kids ffs don't start a family. get out now before you get older. oh! and don't think if you have a kid she won't just find someone else anyway and drop you in a heratbeat. i have seen that a few times too.

Related forum threads

Login to post