User profile: Lylian

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Forums > Living in Kunming > Chinese family wants do adopt my son

Thanks rejected_goods,

Many people here are giving advice how to meet the war, but I am thinking of how to save the marriage. I believe in most cases divorce is the last thing people should do if they have kids. Nobody will win from it and the kid would be hurt most.

Forums > Living in Kunming > Chinese family wants do adopt my son

I never said or meant " To separate or alienate a child from his parents" or the other behaviours of the wife's family were acceptable or right. I just tried to analyze why they have these insane behaviours from the point of view of a native Chinese.

We are not specialists doing research here and when we talk about Buddhism or Taoism or Confucius, they are not abstract theories far away from us, instead, they are together with us everywhere in our daily life. But even many Chinese people don't notice or can explain why they have those thoughts or behaviours.

For example: in Spring Festival Chinese people would post "关羽" or "张飞"'s images on the door or worship ancestors with food, that's from Taoism.

Filial piety is a very important part of Confucianism and to have latter generations and make the family bigger is one way to represent the filial piety. It's like this kid belongs to the whole family. And in a Chinese family, grandparents has the absolute right of speech. Then it can explain why the wife's parents feel so confident that they can do whatever they want to their grandchild.

As to Buddhism, if you guys have learned Chinese you may found there were some words like"世界""方便 ", do you know they are also from Buddhism?

outsider, are your parents farmers? Here the wife's parents are not well-educated farmers. They consider things much more from their experience, characters, mood, and what ancestors told them, not wisdom, knowledge or sanenesss. Moreover, it's my fault that I should say MOST(not every) of elder generations expect husband works outside and wife take care of the family(didn't mean wifes don't work).


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