Golf enthusiasts all over the world today mourn one of the greatest golfers ever. Kim Jong Il playing out of Pyongyang, North Korea ascended into Heaven today due to mental and physical overwork according to DPRK's official (and only) news agency. According to said news agency Kim regularly scored 4-5 holes-in-one during a round of golf and would likely have won every single tournament on the PGA had he not graciously chosen to bow out and allow lesser beings like Mickelson, Woods and Donald a little time in the spotlight. Kim instead opted to spend his life tirelessly working for the prosperity and enlightenment of his people. It is expected that Kim's youngest son Jong-Un will try to fill the size 36 shoes of The Magnificent One. Kim Jong-Un had already promised to make at least 6 or 7 holes-in-one every time he plays to honour his father's memory. The Dear Leader is dead, Long live The Dear Leader!
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