@Blobbles: YOur point #5: what makes you say that "China has always been fairly equal"?

General comment: As far as I'm concerned, those who see life in terms of winners and losers automatically put themselves in the latter category.

Winners and losers make sense only in the context of games.

@Kate.Kunming

I'm going to write a country song using your last paragraph, and since it's China, no royalties to you!

Also, I'm going to open with "I know your passport number and you worked illegally" to any foreigner next time. Probably half the bar at Moondog will get spooked and leave.

Tony, while I appreciate your attempt at fortune telling, you are simply wrong. Allow me to explain why.

First, preferring Chinese women does not mean that I am a sexist or that I am objectifying anyone. Everyone has the right to choose whom he or she prefers.

Second, I had a perfectly fine career in the culinary field for years, and decided to go to grad school. Also, I am a certified teacher in the US with a Master's Degree. It is not hard for me to find a teaching job in the US, and in fact I was a teacher for a few years. I came to China, as I said, to broaden my career.

Finally, I am not "just an amateur home cook." I am a graduate of a prestigious culinary school in New York, and I had a career in gastronomy. I simply chose to try my hand at teaching because of an interest in languages.

I believe that you have allowed your personal dislike of me (or at least what you perceive to be my online persona) to tempt you into megalomania — believing that you have a special insight into my heart, mind, life, history, spirit, and past. I would like to tell you that you do not, and you are wrong on most counts.

Matt,

Since it would appear we are now on a first name basis, I will refer to you by your first name.

You are tripping all over yourself. Teaching and culinary are both very demanding fields, I can hardly believe you had a career in both given your age. A person with a perfectly fine budding career in culinary cuisine do not suddenly give it up to pursue grad school unless something drastic happens.

At any rate, after leaving behind a perfectly fine career in culinary cuisine you decided to get into teaching and pursued grad school. After being a teacher for a few years, and I'm sure it was a budding and promising career as well, you decided to give everything up again to come to China. Is there a pattern emerging?

By the way, did you have a career in teaching, as you have stated earlier or only taught a few years as you have now just said. There is a big difference between a job and a career.

Anyway, at the end of the day Matt, I don't really care about you or who you are or what you're about. It doesn't even matter if the picture I paint is accurate or not. I realized long ago that it would near impossible to have an intellectual debate with you so now I'm simply having a little fun (most likely at your expense) piecing together the puzzle. I am sure at some point I'll get bored with the project. Until then though, I do look forward to your posts to complete the puzzle.

Ciao~

You guys should get a room :)

Tony,

Really? The ONLY reason someone might choose to go into teaching, is because something drastic happens? In this infinite world, that is the ONLY way your mind can imagine? With all due respect, you are wrong. Some people just have a natural curiosity, and want to experience life in all its fullness.

As or your "not caring about [me[\]", you sure spend an awful lot of time and words on me here.

Again, with all due respect, if you think that you can "piece together the puzzle" of a human being's life from a few Burger King posts on an expat forum, then I think you are woefully mistaken. There is more to life than meets the eye.

Can someone confirm or deny - Is latataille also mmteacher, tommann, crazylaowai, and Matt Miller? Several people have called him mmteacher but I do not see him deny this.

Do we have to talk about mmteacher/latataille/what's-his-new-id-today life and personality? I don't know about the rest of you, but I couldn't care less.
Back to the topic~

Same as @Kate.Kunming I'm a white girl from Europe and I have to agree with her.
I met many different foreigners in China so far. Most of them are just normal, friendly guys, some of them are dating Chinese girls and I'm happy for them. But I also met some guys who made me feel embarassed for foreigners in China. For example guys who treat their Asian girlfriends like servants, personal translators, guides and call them 'long haired dictionary'. I've heard that Chinese girls are better cause they don't ask a man to use condom and so on. What made me avoid western bars in Kunming though is being told by some white guys that I shouldn't date Asians cause that's a disgrace for the white race. What makes it even funnier is that those guys were very keen on meeting a Chinese girlfriend. Luckily people like that are a minority among Kunming expats.
I admit that it's more difficult for me to go on a proper date in China than it was back home. I got set up by my Chinese girl friends more than once, but always it was awkward at best. Chinese guys tend to talk about marriage and children on a first date, they tell me about their income, flat, car, scooter and savings, while I'd like to hear instead what films or music they like. They also buy too much - for example 12 bottles of beer when it's only 2 of us, dinner big enough to feed family of six etc. They also ask if my parents would mind if I stayed in China all my life, talk too much about my future with them, once I even got asked if I could go with him next week to meet his parents. I know it all comes from the cultural difference, but talking about marriage and kids on the first date makes me run away as fast as I can ;) I was also stalked by a Chinese guy you couldn't understand that I wasn't interesed. He never threatened me, but he texted me a lot, waited outside of my place, left gifts taped to my door, nothing dangerous but I was afraid anyway. Fortunately my friends scared him away.

Being with a Chinese man is more difficult than being with a Western guy (at least for me), mostly because of unrealistic expectations about quick marriage and perfect wife that Chinese seem to have. Luckily there is plenty of Asian guys who are not Chinese in Kunming so living here is not boring at all :)

Matt,

Yes, I may be wrong and as I said before, it doesn't matter if I am right or wrong. However, I am only pointing out the contradictions in your statements. On the one hand you feign passion in gastronomy and yet choose to give up what should've been a dream career to become an educator. If teaching has become a new passion then why would you give that up to come to China? (By the way, it's a rhetorical questions so please don't post an answer, I don't care to know)

My point is this, in my 10 years teaching various subjects in China and having read more resumes than I care to, I've met tons of expats in Kunming, those that stayed for more than a couple of years, in their prime working age, stayed because job prospects back home are very slim and living in China gives them a type of Rock Star status and all the lifestyle that goes with it. (And perhaps this is one of the reason the expat community is predominately men.) This is evidenced by all those expats that hate China, yet don't leave, and want to recreate the comforts of home, the same very people you railed against so many times in these threads. The only exception I have found are those that fell in love and got married (even then though, they usually take their wife back home after a couple of more years) and the few that have built a new career and life in China. Again, just an observation based on personal experience, I might very well be wrong.

All this discussion is actually moot and in hindsight, the conversation is moving towards a dangerous direction in which I do not wish to take. Suffice to say, I didn't mean to turn the discussion into something very personal for you and apparently it has. My original issue was with how expat men behave towards Chinese women and their perceptions of them. I do apologize if anything I have said hit a little too close to home.

I am going to end the discussion and my participation in this thread here and let you have the last word. I will not respond further as I have already said too much and my point was made long ago.

I bid you adieu~

Tony,

How clever of you to get the last word in by claiming that you do not care, but actually making a very personal, insinuating post.