So I was able to

process a student visa through the Chinese consulate in Chiangmai.

Cost was 1100 Baht and it took 4 days.
I had an interview with a senior officer. It was conducted entirely through Chinese. I got the distinct impression that she was testing my Chinese to see if I was genuinely studying. So my guess is they don't just rubberstamp it.
Mangosteens ranged from 35 to 50 Baht for about 10/11 of them and were very tasty.

Thanks to all who helped!

There is indeed a sexual health clinic in Kunming. I went there and it seemed efficient and inexpensive. Like 100 RMB or something.

Sorry I can't remember where exactly cos it was a few years ago but it wasn't a million miles away from DT. Best ask a Chinese friend.

Haha ok!

Thanks and yeah I'll update.

I honestly do not understand why people don't just ignore him. Nearly all of his posts are hidden so you have to choose to expand them to read his silliness. Just don't. Life will be better.