"So if you're serious about saying hello, please just say "Hello" followed by a "Do you have a moment to chat?" -Laotou

I'm not sure this is the right way to strike up a conversation. I'd be expecting to the next line to be something like "Have you embraced Jesus as your own, personal savior?" which either would trigger my vomitting impulse or make me run very very fast, or possibly both.

Not many foreigners live in my area so I rarely run into one on the way to the local restaurant/fruitstand/conveinience shop, apart from Koreans and I'm ashamed to say that my interracial blindness and the fact that I generally don't stare at random people on the street keep me from recognizing them as foreigners. On the other hand if I am out hitting the bars I have no problem toasting with some random laowai and doing the whole "where are you from, what do you do, do you enjoy it?" routine which has never been a problem. Likewize if someone stops me on the street asking me for directions or whatever I'll go out of my way to assist them. Normally, though, I'll be on my way to work or to buy stuff and I'd be quite baffled if some guy just stopped me to talk about the weather or whatever. I think it's at least partly because from experience being hailed on the street in China it's usually someone trying to sell something to you, direct you to some place as a costumer, practice English or semi-hitting on you.

I don't know what it's like in Texas but from my three years in London I know that if you talk to some random guy on the street you'll be percieved as either a lunatic, a criminal or a weirdo. In my native country we don't generally strike up conversations with total strangers either.

I think we all get the fact that we're not going to be ZOMG-Best-Friendz-Forevar with every whitey we pass.

I'm in an Asian city now with a much higher proportion of Europeans visiting than even KM. Maybe one in three people you pass is white in the centre. No, no one nods or smiles at each other and we all just get on with it. It doesn't offend or bother me and I like it like that.

I think the OP was pointing out the way some Lao Wai back in KM go out of their way to stick their noses in the air at other foreigners. Cooler-than-thou etc. I've lived ALL over the place, I'm not hyper-sensitive and I noticed it strongly when I lived in KM... I'm sure it exists elsewhere though...

While people in general are correct they have a right to mind their own damn business when they go out... in my subjective opinion only, there is a fairly large proportion of arrogant rich Lao wai pricks in KM. Why? God knows. I suppose a foreigner living in Shanghai or HK can't claim to have discovered the place, or want it as their personal territory. Kunming is still off-the-map enough for people to feel like that about it.

I never really noticed it til I left and travelled round other parts of Asia...

Anyway, it's still a great place to live, so just thank your lucky stars you live in one of the best cities in China and avoid the snob hangouts...

Peace...

dan
Good point - my defense alarms go off anytime ANYONE approaches my path with intent - in Kunming I'm thinking pickpocket (although they try to be less conspicuous). In California (LA) - I'm thinking carjack or mugging. Call me paranoid...but I've enjoyed some wonderful avoidances by being reasonably paranoid as opposed to ga ga eyed. oh...and in Tokyo - it's usually the sex joint tout, regardless of time of day.

I like my anonymity in China, but not from fellow Expat's. Most Chinese avoid looking in my eyes or speaking to me and this is very pleasant when I want to move through the city quickly. When I am feeling playful, I address every Chinese person I see and watch their reaction. Some of the older gentlemen think it is funny and they will smile and wave. The older ladies act as if I am about to assualt them in some sexual manner. I never have understood how grabbing your collar and scrunching your shoulders would protect you from assault but it seems to be the most common reaction by the older ladies. Young children run inside a shop or business when you say hello at first, but then come out as you pass and yell a "Hello" at you. Young adults are more open and sometimes friendships and conversations can be started with a smile and a hello.
As far as expats go, I think that you must show yourself to be friendly before people want to be your friend. I was taken in by the expat community in Kunming when I had basically lost my family. I have friends in Kunming who I can count on today if I needed a friend in a pinch. Quit the weird Laowai antics and give the expats a reason to want to come say hello the next time they see you.

P.S. My wife is Chinese as well so I understand about receiving the rude Chinese comments made toward your wife. Slut, whore, trash, and traitor were the ones that hurt the most. At first, I became combative and trashed more than a few Chinese men, but that did not stop the comments(even though I felt much better with the jerks beaten to a pulp). They are ignorant people, saying ignorant things. Luckily, we have a strong, supportive Chinese family that love us and our child. My father-in-law is more likely to enter into a verbal argument now when something is said than he did when we first married. My mother-inlaw told my sister-in-law this Summer, after graduating from college, that she now had to find a husband like me. That is high praise coming from the woman who fought our mixed marriage for 3 years. Nowadays, I only worry about what my friends and family say about me and my family.

LiWeiJiang - god, that must have been awful to experience that kind of verbal abuse towards your spouse. I mean, how must she feel when xenophobic strangers talk trash like that? I thought Chinese people held high views of the west, including marrying foreigners.

Or maybe that's only in Thailand? I've heard of numerous stories there, including one where in a small village in the north-east, 20 villagers ended up marrying Swiss men after originally just one of them did. All the girls there get respected the way they should. Sure, occassionally there is some discrimination, but these days there are so many foreigner-Thai couples and most of the foreign men are genuine, honest and of good means with good intentions, so it's a very normal thing to see a Thai-foreigner couple in Thailand these days...it's accepted and that's that.

Maybe not in China? Maybe I'm missing something here?

I went to Kunming with high expectations and hopes that I would have a good time there, but unfortunately, I hated my time in that disgusting city.

I wasted four months of my life trying to enjoy life in Kunming. When I left Kunming (for good) and went to Hong Kong, it was like a breath of fresh air.

The people, for the most part, in Hong Kong were nice, polite, and could speak English. I also learned to enjoy Cantonese food. It's funny how I could eat the food in Hong Kong without having any stomach problems unlike my experience with the food in Kunming.

It was a lot easier for me to meet Chinese women in HK. Within my first few days of living there I went on two dates. The girls were nice and I had a great time.

I wish I didn't make the mistake of going to Kunming. I should have spent all of my time in Hong Kong or maybe Taiwan.

Thank God you finally f**ked off is all i can say.

onomatopoeiaaah, well said.
gaoxing, if you,ve finally happy as you say why are you back on a Kunming forum? missed kunming? enjoy HK, don't come back.

oooh, gaoxing, please come back! we miss you!
kunming feels so empty without your cheerful presence!

A couple of weeks from now, an expat site in Hong Kong will have a post from someone named "Gaoxing" beginning with "Dear everybody. I hate this place,,"