Divorce

@mockingbird: Some Chinese girls are educated and some are not" - sounds like people everywhere, not only girls. Also, do you think it's "education" (please define) that makes a 'good' marriage?

Sadly we often hear about those type of behaviours described by the OP. Some cultures would find that type of behaviour unacceptable, but is it somehow acceptable among certain sections of Chinese culture? It was even described here as being a 'girly girl'! Are these behaviours somehow condoned or even promoted by some people as part of being an empowered woman in China?

@quester agree and i think the flip side is the male is expected to be the man and take charge. yes i know this is sexists but we are not living in a pc world here. ...isms abound. not saying it is right or wrong. just saying it is.

One of the challenges of cross-cultural marriages I suppose.

Is the flip side of the man taking charge supposed to prevent these abusive behaviours?

maybe, maybe not, but if she is testion boundaries, and she is expected her 'man' to set them, and he isnt, then she may feel she has married someone weak. weakness is not respected in ch culture. meakness will usually be seen as weakiness imho. look at profiles on dating site, the womens profiles say that man 'should' run the house. they don't put 'not nec3ssary' this includes female high flyers. might be an idea to look at the model in the womans family.

Sorry to hear that,but I wanna say you are so unlucky.There is many differences between Western women and Chinese women, some Chinses women like to be treated as a princess.But there are still several samrt,independent,lovely Chinese women here,you should keep looking for her.Good luck.

Every person has different ways of compensating for their insecurities. An ideal situation would be that a spouse knows the other's insecurities and how to allay those. Such reassurance should avoid the behaviours that manifest the insecurities. But even so, every spouse should be able to set boundaries of what behaviours they find acceptable or not.

Overgeneralizations everywhere, and not enough information about the particular situation to make them relevant.

Let it be. OP is happy again and hopefully learned something about boundaries.

It seems like our panel of experts in dating and relationships are dying to give more insight though. Someone start a thread on intercultural dating.