On a technical note.
It would be nice (once logged in) to see if you have mail, from the home page. With one click access to your inbox.

It is possible to work your tail off and achieve little. Classroom management can be the main issue, and it can really only be learned on the job. Fresh teachers often struggle until they learn strategies that work for them. Unfortunately, in a high school, once an unhelpful classroom routine has been established it is almost impossible to break. But next years class is a fresh start.

Some teachers do become like zombies. Many reasons for this. It isn't laziness, it is fatigue. Stress from classroom management problems. Stress from bad management who cannot understand problems a teacher may be having. These problems can be technical frustrations, culture shock, or even just China fatigue.

I have met several fresh teachers who were really not as good as they thought they were. But with experience they got better, or sometimes gave up. I would think of most teachers first jobs as being tempered in the fire, and selective memories of our own limitations. I have taught many students, and occasionally still fail. My failures are less common after 8 years.

Yes I have had bad bosses, and worked with poor facilities, but I will admit to having been (at times) a less than perfect teacher. But I have learned a lot about my own limitations as a teacher and worked to improve skills, or avoid certain things.

Most restaurants have private rooms. These are where people can get some privacy for business, or some quiet. They usually have a minimum cover charge (i.e. minimum spend) but the rooms are free. If you add a bottle of wine you can soon hit your cover charge which are not usually high.
OK you need to find a nice restaurant as well, as even the crappy places have rooms.

Visa regulations vary from city to city. It depends on local policy variation and how the local directors choose to interpret some regulations. I also know that directors have discretion with individual cases.

I know for a fact that in Shanghai the rules are very different for people married to holders of a Shanghai HuKou.

@weekapaughhead's comment.

Perhaps a local person could volunteer to trawl through the local 'what's on' pages in newspapers or online.