OK. 'Bye.

@yankee: Right, so now you know the cause (lack of proper social conditioning) you can just give up with a clear conscience.
Sorry non-american/non-English English is so painful to your ears - what does American sound like to others?
Now I'm dropping out of this conversation because it's all just more examples of what I've been hearing from people living outside their original culture most of my life and I'm beginning to lose patience with it ('The Spanish do this wrong, the Nigerians are all scam artists, the Chinese don't know...' whatever it is - but I'm smugly the objective and unconfused judge of all of their faults...)

@liumingke: So you want to change the cultural history of the world to produce a different linguistic situation in the present, one that you can handle? It's not anybody's fault that we're not all the same in everything (thank god), you know. Pointing out real difficulties (no, I can't handle Kunminghua either) is no excuse for not dealing with them.
Or you can just give up, like the people I know here from elsewhere who have apparently decided that, because they know they'll never be perfect in speaking Chinese, decide never to learn anything at all.
Now how much sense does that make?

Xiefei's got it.
For Pete's sake, just talk to Chinese people as you would anyone anywhere, remembering, of course, that most people don't share whatever your own cultural background is and that you are going to have to respect the rules & manners of their culture just as you would do if you went to France, Pakistan, Nicaragua or anywhere else, and just as you'd expect foreigners to do in your own country. Oh yeah, that's right, a lot of Chinese people perhaps haven't spent any time in your country, so they may find it a bit difficult to deal with your perspectives or your language, whatever they are. But that's the way the world is and it's about time we got used to it. You don't have to deal with or even like everything about the country, which you can't pretend to fully understand, but you need to be able to deal with the person in front of you and not expect her/him to conform to whatever standards you imagine and/or that you, or he/she, think should be in place for the whole universe. There's no excuse for not understanding that nobody, including yourself, is able to communicate with complete clarity, but if you handle the problem one person at a time you might be able to pick up a few clues, despite whatever general judgements you want to make. I would guess even marital relations are like that. Not everything is a matter of 'us' (whomever that is supposed to be) vs. 'them'.

@liumingke: interesting idea, not sure what I think; it might increase the ghetto mentality.