I moved to Kunming in January, right before the height of the corona virus shut down. I was lonely and eager to make friends. My roommates were quick to add me to the Barfly Wechat group, which seemed to be a friendly place to become a part of a supportive community. I joined the group and thought I would be welcomed. However, when I actually went to the bar I was so disappointed. After trying to dance to Eurotrash white, hetero outdated head banger music all night long, I talked to a friend to try and think about music that might be a little more danceable. She took me behind the bar and immediately, before I even said a word, I was told that my musical tastes would not be cool enough. When I suggest Lady Gaga (a queer icon) or Beyonce (one of the most accomplished women of color) I was told that my tastes were in fact not cool enough for this bar and was dismissed. Whatever. However after I was standing next to another friend who was asking to change the outdated music once again, the bartender freely gave him her phone and said "don't worry I trust you, you wouldn't pick something like Lady Gaga." Then she turned to me and repeated "No Lady Gaga" as if I was a fucking idiot. Overall I find the Kunming expat community to be welcoming and kind, but not Barfly. To quote another band that is probably not cool enough to be played in this establishment: "Bye Bye Bye!"