Yes, it's unfortunately true. You can actually buy a new bike, but it has to meet strict speed and size requirements that make it very underpowered and disappointing. The big bikes are simply not allowed.
You can marry filing jointly by getting her an Individual Taxpayer Identification Number (ITIN). Using that as a non-resident alien, she should not be subject to FBAR or any of those requirements, but figuring out which taxes are owed will be really complicated. I looked into it myself a few years back and just dropped it. Definitely worth consulting an international tax expert.
Also, not sure why you're avoiding setting up any accounts in China. If you're using accounts in her name, the IRS may decide that you "have control" over the account, and you could get in trouble for not reporting on FATCA and FBAR.
Finally, if you plan to be away from the US for a while, you can save a ton of money by buying an international insurance plan, rather than a US plan.