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Finding a Chinese girlfriend

Liumingke1234 (3297 posts) • 0

That's absurd! Cheating 'girlfriends or spouses' is not a Chinese thing, it's a universal thing. These students that are married perhaps didn't pick the right partner or perhaps they themselves cheated or treat their wives like a housemaid and not as partner leading their wives to look for love in another place. When you have a girlfriend or wife, there is no guarantee they you will be together forever. People fall out of love just like they fall in love. There's always two sides to every story. Again, any relationship takes work to make it work.

headless body (1 post) • 0

what @Carlton said is appalling. i've never known any of my friends like this. on the other hand, i've seen westerners who cheat on their wives. no offense to anyone. but generalization is not right.

Liumingke1234 (3297 posts) • 0

All culture cheats. Why? A host of reasons. Again, it all boils down to YOU and only YOU. Some people can only pick losers others always pick winners. It's the "Law of Attraction" effect.

Liumingke1234 (3297 posts) • 0

If Nevet is indedd a black person then yes, he will have a much harder time finding a girlfriend. Again, it all depends on your personality, your game, how dark you are, etc.

blobbles (957 posts) • 0

My advice to Nevet (who is white, by the way) is that if you don't have luck with Western women, you aren't alone. Many western men also don't because many western women these days are annoying little brats that believe themselves to be higher/better than every man they meet for some reason. They try to find a man who will ride in on a white horse and sweep them off their feet, but still respect them, value their opinion, but at the same to be assertive, aggressive, but caring and thoughful, intelligent yet quick to take action, etc etc etc... basically the unattainable for anyone as it is so full of conflicting traits its not funny. A generalisation of many for sure, but this makes a lot of western women generally annoying and undateable/unapproachable (which is why so many of them end up alone or with lots of cats!). #RANT OVER!!#

But that doesn't mean that you will like Chinese women. They are traditional or semi traditional mainly and have a great love of family. They still marry a man still for some advantage, more wealth, better connections etc (been going on for centuries), but increasingly will marry the man they fall in love with no matter if he is a butchers boy (the family won't like that though) or a CEO of some massive company (the family will love that). So you still have to be a good guy generally (treat your wife/girlfriend with respect and love) to get a Chinese wifey long term, which is the same really as the west. Here though you will marry not just the wife, but their whole family, from a financial aspect and general dependence aspect. If you aren't into marrying into a close family, I wouldn't advise coming to find women in China, or anywhere in Asia really. Many western men don't like having much to do with their wife's family, don't come to Asia if you are like this, your mother in law may end up living with you eventually and bringing up your kids! (My mother in law is about 9 kinds of awesome so I don't mind this at all!)

Of course short term you can find a girlfriend to have fun with but I assume you are looking longer term.

If you want a Chinese girlfriend, use the following method:

1. Come and study the language/culture, have the funds to support you to do this for about 6-12 months. You will find it really hard to get a girl anywhere to stay with you if you don't understand her at all.
2. Have fun, ONS's etc burning away some yellow fever to start with while studying (have the funds to support this too!).
3. Once you have workable Chinese and a decent grasp of the culture, look for a long term girlfriend. To do this, look for a girl who IS NOT INTERESTED in you, but who you like, and chase her. DO NOT go for the girls who express extreme interest in you, bordering on the irrational. Be smart to know the difference. The ones that aren't chasing you are the ones that don't really care about having foreign boyfriends or explicitly do not want foreign boyfriends (i.e. they are not interested in visas etc and/or speak lousy English and don't care and/or love being in China but generally haven't been anywhere else).

4. Win her heart by using your irresistible charm and the exotic factor :). At this point you need to figure out if you want to stay in China (where you will inevitably end up teaching) or head back to the west, which will take a lot of input from your partner. If you are at odds with what you want eventually (discuss this in the first few months of the relationship) break it off, preferably before you have met the family etc, as there are about a 100 million more fish in the sea. Rinse and repeat steps 3&4 until you find the right one.
5. Live happily ever after with one foot in both countries (be prepared for this from the start).

yankee00 (1632 posts) • 0

Those rules pretty much apply to everywhere there are women.

I feel kind of sad for Western men, really. I don't think all the blame should be thrown at Western women. Black and Arabic men don't have a problem finding and keeping White women, since they tend to behave a bit more manly - to the obvious displeasure of White men. There is also a growing trend with White men becoming a lot more feminised and needy than their female counterpart, which is a problem that should be tackled first, before blaming Western women.

nevet (27 posts) • 0

To answer some of your questions:

I'm a white guy. I was in Kunming for a few months back in 2010 and I posted on this website. My screen name was gaoxing but I ticked off too many people so they deleted my profile.

Although I wouldn't mind a few ONS's, I'm looking for a long-term girlfriend.

While I was in Kunming, I only nailed one girl. I also nailed one in Hong Kong. I never learned the language so I could only talk to girls that spoke some English.

I'm thinking about going back to Asian but this time, I might try Taiwan.

I know this is the gokunming forum, but has anyone on here ever been to Taiwan? Are the girls like mainland Chinese girls?

Liumingke1234 (3297 posts) • 0

Gaoxing!? Ha..ha. Yeah, us oldtimers remember you. That's explains everything.

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