There are judo schools in Kunming, look them up. And you could also snoop around the provincial stadium, where the pros train (wrestling as well), to ask some coaches or trainers who they would recommend as far as teachers go.
Real Tai chi and Bagua training, both involve plenty of stand up grappling, but not much ground stuff.
There is also Sanda around.
There is another thread somewhere on GOKM with contact info for local thai boxing trainers.
I have a Japanese friend who has decent Brazilian jiu jitsu/ mma type grappling skills, if you contact me, I will ask him about contacting you back.
If anyone has a space, I also have a daizu friend who is a former Sanda/sanshou champion, and a really kind guy, he would like to teach but lacks the facilities and money to set that up.
RE: Weights PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE contact me if there are any gyms that are good for WEIGHTLIFTING as opposed to bodybuilding. The first thing to look for are bumper plates, weights that have rubber on the outside so that you can drop them on the floor quietly and safely.
Also, more than one squat rack.
AS FAR AS I KNOW THERE ARE NO LEGIT FITNESS GYMS IN KUNMING.
Just places with tons of machines, treadmills, over priced unnecessary supplements, crappy classes, aerobics, personal training scams, clueless staff, etc. Chengdu does have at least one legit gym.
PLEASE CONTACT ME IF YOU FIND ONE IN KM. THANKS!