@ningsi
Be selected in the value of the gifts and to whom you shower. Hold you're breath and dive in - this will be yet another of my long verbose, wordy posts - but hopefully of some parental value.
PRE-SCHOOL
For pre-school - gift giving is not required - although greatly appreciated. ANYONE can go to pre-school - the only requirement - kids must already be potty trained - no diapers. In case you're interested, Chinese kids are potty trained while still infants - no 3-5 yo's wearing diapers here (except for the expats). The drawback - public urination and sometimes defecation by toddlers and infants - but dogs do it all the time and nobody complains.
EDUCATION QUALITY
THe quality of education - even in preschool - in Kunming is suspect. You will want to look for a preschool that goes beyond just being a dumping ground for a working parent.
Preschools should teach children to read, write, sing, dance, speak, and listen. They should teach elementary mathematics, the pinyin alphabet, and some fundamental classical poems (listening, speaking) in addition to vocabulary. By the time a child graduates pre-school - they should have at least a 100-200 word vocabulary (reading/writing) and should be familiar with basic arithmetic, counting, etc. in addition to a basic appreciation of the arts - music, drawing, painting, etc.
MOST Kunming preschools do NOT do this. MOST Beijing pre-schools do this. Kunming preschools have a mixture of professional and unskilled labor kids - meaning the quality of daycare at a pre-school may be diverse.
Pre-school is designed to get your kid socially and mentally read for primary school.
PRIMARY SCHOOL
Begins at 6-7 yo although the rural kids may attend later - there are cases/incidents of 9-10yo's attending grade 1 (if they kids look unusually large to be first graders - chances are, they ARE).
You'll need to start preparing for primary school 1-2 years in advance. If the pre-school has relationship with the primary school (same neighborhood, etc) - that helps immensely.
Do NOT be mislead or frauded - primary school education is FREE. In Kunming, the president of the school may try to trick you - giving you some foreign passport schmuck sales pitch and then try to ream you for up to ¥25k per year (for americans - the gold standard for fraud). Schools is FREE. If you're here on a teaching binge - hopefully with an accredited university - you will be a certified "foreign expert" - comes with a special government issue foreign expert certificate - looks like a passport. Have the university assist with placement in a primary school - gifts are helpful at this point - school president and the introducer...without going into the moral platitudes of giving a public employee a gift of noticeable value.
Look at the school and the quality of the kids - if they look grubby - you're in a school designated for the "outside" or rural kids - children of parents in unskilled labor jobs - the quality of education will be low. Unlike western schools where senior teachers invite illusions of consistency and quality - in China - aged teachers are a sign of "older style" teaching methods. You'll want to look for teachers - especially primary school teachers - who are younger and actually may have feelings of responsibility.
IN Primary schools - the teacher usually stays with the class from grade 1 through grade 6 - almost like their second parent - so get to know them as well as possible - annual gifts followed by the seasonal holiday celebration gifts (teacher's day, spring festival, etc etc etc ad infinitum). - small tokens - like parker pens, small artwork, memory sticks, etc - whatever you might like - they might like too - but keep it within your budget - never start something you cannot sustain.
If you're a single parent - you'll probably be looking for a housekeeper assistant. BEWARE - lots of lazy thieving employees - referrals may not be reliable - you're a foreigner and thieves depend upon opportunities if chance. Be careful and contrary to popular opinion - be nice BUT also be scary - disciplined and meticulous....but how to deal with the ayi is another thread (also on other threads)...
Transportation is torturous in Kunming - @tigertiger only alluded to the frustration you will experience with public transportation - including the chronic plagues of pickpockets. You're a primary target - foreigner with a kid - the taxi drivers will take you for many scenic rides through Kunming and you're THE candy store on public buses during rush hour.
COSTS
Although schools are free as are school books - other things are not - clothes, school supplies, supplementary study materials, book bags (backpacks) - special sports day uniforms (shoes, shorts, shirt) and the pervasive red scarfs (of the China Youth Society - formerly known as the Communist Youth Society).
AYI/HOUSEKEEPER
Salary starts around ¥800 and goes to the moon.
SCHOOL BUDGET
Budget as follows:
¥150/month for lunches - hope your kid is acclimated to spicy food - Kunmingers reputedly even add chili to their water.
School supplies - buy in bulk - but ¥50-100 per month for pre-school - pens, paper, modeling clay, water paints, etc.
You may also need to budget in commuting fees - which can really eat into your dismal salary if you use the ubiquitous lazy ass taxis - if a driver asks where you want to guy - wave them on - they may waste your time and prevent you from catching another serious taxi. Learn to be rude. Drivers are NOT permitted to dump a fare - they MUST take you anywhere within the city if you sit in their taxi - if not - just call the number of the dashboard - and pretend to report them (their car's license number - learn to say it in chinese).
Unless you're wealthy - you MAY choose to invest in an electric scooter - if you've never ridden a bicycle or scooter - you're SOL - ask someone to teach you. Buy helmets for you and your child - as you're unfamiliar with the selfish assholes who ride scooters and drive cars - an accident is guaranteed - just be prepared, never panic (if possible) and never swerve - as you'll probably take out a small swath of people to your side - brace for the hopefully slow but headon impact - but that's yet another philosophy of stories. - buy something large enough to keep rodents away (48v+) but small enough to handle - for motorcycles - the general rule is - if you can't upright (aka stand up a dropped bike) the vehicle - you can't ride it.
Some schools (especially beijing) permit live-in students. The teachers will help train your child with basic routines - washing hands, brushing teeth, washing their face, eating, sleeping - as a parent - you know that children MUST have a routine - a regularly schedule life, regularly schedule meals, regularly scheduled activities. Most important is going potty before bed - minimizes the wet bed syndrome.
GOOD LUCK - don't hesitate to ask the other single parents et al on gokm - and remember - if you work for an accredited university and they give you foreign expert status - USE THAT as a bludgeoning instrument. If the school principal tries to knock you up for those illegal school fees - out bluff him - just tell him - no problem - just take that pseudo-official looking piece of paper and tell him you'll forward it on to the Beijing Foreign Expert's Office for approval - and don't forget to play dumb - mention the Beijing Foreign Expert's Office told you that school is free (not pre-school - only primary and maybe middle school - grades 1-9) - so you'll need government permission to pay this fee - wave your foreign expert's certificate around.
If you play the game correctly - they'll "suddenly" realize - "oh - you're a foreign expert - school for you is free - this allows them to exit their extortion attempt gracefully. Try to always remain calm and polite - learn how the game is played and above all - learn how to create win-win situations (aka allow them to exit gracefully while YOU win). GIve the pres a nice gift - gold plated parker pen, or as other's mentioned - various american or foreign junk - swatch, casio, etc - then as you acclimate to life here - reduce the budget to local hire type gifts - a glass of fish - a terrarium - something obnoxious that the teacher has to get rid of - but they must still put on the nice smiley face and say nice things.
My children attend class - roughly 70 students per class - can you imagine how troublesome it is to take home 70 terrariums after teacher's day? For the female teachers that we like - I usually buy a small pressurized bottle of facial atomizing (?) water - evian. They come to expect it - and it's appreciated as it's something they can and do use. We also buy water-based eau de toilette sprays - rose, etc - again - stick with the foreign brands - preferably french for the eau's...
If the teacher really ticks you off - buy them something bulky and heavy - I've found fish tanks with live fish to be particularly odious...and yet somewhat flamboyant - although a fish tank can easily be converted into a terrarium - which is what we give the less odious but not quite nice teachers...yes - I use gifts as a hammer or a carrot - adds color to my life - in a perverted way. Helps to maintain sanity and courtesy while always maintaining the appearance of a nice person...
