What I originally wanted to do was complain about the American government and their denial of my girlfriend's tourist visa last week in Chengdu. But instead, I found myself angrier at the very existence of panda bears.
Perhaps back in the day, pandas were somehow kings of their domain. But now they survive only by the thread of synthesized existence. They are an evolutionary dead end. Without humans to feed them, their habitat is so demolished that they wouldn't survive a week in the wild. They are too needy and would rather starve to death than eat anything other than their favorite type of bamboo shoot. And they need to eat 20 kilos of that a day just to survive.
They are incredibly lazy and these days won't even have sex without a little panda porn to get them excited. I'm not making this up. Google it. Once an animal must rely upon porn or meds to appreciate sex, any follower of Darwin would say it's time for them to be on their way. And if you're not a fan of Darwin, even the divinely mandated existence of pandas holds a weak argument for spending billions per year to keep 1200 of these animals alive and procreating. Every time you see a panda in a zoo in the west, it's likely that the zoo is renting the animal from China for between $1 and $2 million per year plus half a million to feed it.
Can't that money go to something worth saving like rivers and oceans? Why not Plankton? Plankton is also becoming threatened and actually has a purpose on the planet. But a cute little plankton face might not make for such a nice fundraising poster.
Sometimes the giants need to fall to make way for the little guys. The little guys can exist without the giants, but the giants can't exist without the little guys.