OK, i know it sounds crazy. But is there a Way to get a paper check to send in a letter back to the flip side?

Your bank can issue it. I've done it a BOC. Called 银行汇票 in Chinese.

I use PayPal...you can also sign up for PayPal in china. It's NOT inexpensive, but for small amounts (say, less than USD 10k), it's fast, effective, and reliable.