It's so true that one of the reasons I don't perform that well in Chinese is that when I am trying my darnedest to speak as correctly as I can, I still get criticized and this is a serious deterrent for me...I guess my skin is too thin! And I do just love the comments about looking so much better than I did yesterday!!! That's a real backhanded comment.

Even a parent will sit in front of me and tear a strip off their older child...and never think it's rude or unhealthy.

Well to get back to subject of this post, I will try another method to learn because I am not doing well as an auditory learner and this that I need more visuals to get my head around it. I know that teaching english books like Side by Side offer a more Western approach to learning English with a lot of visuals and I think that on further analysis, this is what I need too to learn Chinese. There was a very interesting link to fluentU.com that I will investigate further.

Just reading the previous posts. Are we all in same China? Coz I just say "Ni Hao" and most of Chinese people get excited saying how well I can speak,or asking how long Ive been learning etc.

I agree with @Alexez, if anything, especially in lesser developed areas of China like Yunnan, when you speak any amount of Chinese you get complimented as a foreigner. I had a Chinese girlfriend and when I went to meet her family, the hardest thing was that they all spoke their local dialect, not putonghua so there was no way for me to understand what was being said.

Some Chinese are quick to correct but that's deeply rooted in their culture especially in their education. That's why so many Chinese are afraid to speak English because of that fear of speaking incorrectly (rooted in the over-correcting ways of the teacher). Other Chinese I've been around won't correct; they will just pretend like they understood and you have to directly ask them.

Thanks once again for your helpful comments and insight. Since I'm not a quitter, I will persevere, even though it's difficult. Has anyone tried www.fluentu.com ?

@Haali I hear what you are saying. I may come off in these posts here as different than I really am, like most of us. Tough behind an anonymous online persona but a total neurotic wimp in real life. I don't want to insult someone back as I usually feel guilty later. I do think the fat remarks are rude, especially considering I am not actually fat at all. Rude is rude. I think my eating habits are civilized but I can't seem to get through most dinners without the " we don't do that in China" routine. Point being one can start feeling defensive and even paranoid and exaggerating events. As someone said above I love hearing a ni hao as I stroll. It is true, and a compliment motivates all of us over laughter and criticism. The " I'll study even harder harder and show them all! " approach never works.

Chinese people can be extremely rude and that is that. But you do not have to let prevent you from improving your Chinese. Sadly I have and I regret it.

My two cents ( ot two mao) of advise is to use apps or mp3s with your smart phone. If you lack a smart phone I am at a loss. But you can loop MP3 lessons or pick phrases from an app and listen over and over. Apps help with characters as well. This thread actually makes me want to get back at it better, but I will probably get laughed at later and give it all up again.

and I think a realistic goal is important. If you want to soak and listen at a high level and know two thousand characters you had better get off GK and start working. If you want improve survival level and acquire some phrases to compliment people or the culture ( best to do this even if you are not 100% sincere ) then you can do it with some daily work and monthly goals. And that persistence.

Methods are not the same for every one. Seeking a visual method? I bought a bunch of those flash cards for kids learning English. On one side is English but he other has Chinese. Back in my serious days I went through those daily over and over. Of course some of the English is totally wrong and that is some of the fun.

Children's story books too. You will need help even there, but it has pictures and the vocabulary is often useful. I learned the term " kan renao " (watch the activity) from a kids book and use it when people on the street ask me what I am doing.

Try to learn how to say as many things as possible in your apartment in Chinese, and then use prepositions. The cup is on the table. The book is beside the chair. Of course later you will forget all of that when the exact moment to use it arises, but most likely you will piece it together then blurt out something a minute too late. But so what. Maybe next time you will chime in on time. By God! The tea cup is on the table!

I recommend to fellow neurotic Aussies to use Chinese in situations where it has a chance of working. Daily activities in your neighborhood. If you are in over your had just start speaking English. Really. You do not have to torment your self. If someone is just talking too fast, too many words, and the like just say " can you use a little English!" Exclamation not question. If they can they will. Usually ( or you-wa-Lee) they look liked somebody goosed them, or start looking around the room for ghosts or to sky as if they think God is speaking to them.

If someone wants to talk to you but they cannot speak some of your language it is not going to happen unless your Chinese is awesome. You do not have to do the " Zai shou yi ci" thing. Chinese people hate to repeat or speak slowly. You can remove yourself from the situation. Remind them your Chinese is still better than their English, as if they care. But you do not have to be humiliated.

Quit caring so much. First start with grammar, vocab, and writing. When you speak dont stress the sound of tones, if you do it will sound cringe worthy.

hey! sup?stooop! noo. say those loudly and clearly and still say tones are a problem.

a lot of what youre learning in schools and classes is ancient. No one will understand you even if you use tones correctly.

Your options are to stop language exchanges, and hanging out with chinese that speak english. this is easily done if you dont mind the struggle.

If you want to learn the native speaking Chinese, you'd better to follow a native Chinese teacher. I don't have the experience learning Mandarin with Rosetta Stone but I study with Hanbridge Mandarin

I feels good although I just started learning with Hanbridge Mandarin for two weeks, they are the live teacher to teach me Chinese by using Virtual classroom, just like learning in campus.

A lot of new users with just one comment seem to adore Hanbridge.

@alexez Right on bro! I've had nothing but kind people and lots of smiles in this city. I'm wondering if some people are feeling too self conscious and reading into things? I mean, it's a different culture. Not everything means exactly what it means in your home culture. Also, Chinese people have fairly thick skin. It comes with living in a country with 1.4 billion people. You get pushed around at the bus stop. Because there are countless dialects around here most people are going to have to strain to understand you and vice versa. I still can't understand half the stuff that cabbies tell me, but I just smile, tell them my Chinese is bad, and ask them to repeat. Humility goes a long way. I've had so many conversations with my Chinese friends about why Westerners are so sensitive and rude. They just can't understand our need for personal space and the freedom to do whatever we wish. To them, that's just selfish. (I think it's just differences in culture and not right or wrong.) Anyway, the more you learn to say "It's not wrong it's just different" to cultural values, the more fun you'll have and the more friends you'll make.

A few nights ago, I was out eating shao kao by myself, and there were a couple of college students sitting next to me who had had a few too many beers. I could tell they were egging each other on to talk to me. One finally said "hello" in English. I smiled, and spoke to them in Chinese. The laughed — which my first inclination was to get defensive — but I have come to learn that Chinese people often laugh when they are nervous or surprised. They simply didn't expect me to talk much in Chinese. Anyway, they wanted to know all the usual things like how long I had been in China and where I was from, if I had a wife, what country I was from. I was doing pretty well by made a couple of mistakes (usually mixing up placement of time and place words), and yes, they laughed. It's okay. They weren't trying to insult me. It was genuinely funny to them. Finally, I said I needed to leave. When I tried to pay, I was told that my money was no good there, and that they would pay for my dinner. They then proceeded to thank me for talking to them and the one guy that could speak a little English said, "Welcome to China."

This has consistently been my experience. Yes, interactions can be awkward, but ultimately, a lot of times if you can push through the awkward, you get to meet some really wonderful people. I regularly get complimented on my Chinese (which I know to be objectively terrible) and I almost never can pay a bill for dinner even if I fight really hard to pay it!

Here are a couple of things I've found to be really great ways to endear yourself to Chinese acquaintances: Talk to their children. We all know family is the most important thing to most Chinese people so interacting with their children is an instant win. I often ask the mother or father to take a picture with their phone of me and their child. This is the clincher. After that, I'm in. I could punt a a puppy across the street, and I'd still be the nicest guy in the world to them. (Also, I've got the vocabulary of a 3 year-old, so talking to kids is a win-win for me.) #2, I often say something extremely unexpected to loosen things up. For instance, when someone says "Hello" to me in English, I often say, "很好！你是澳大利亚人对不对?" ("Great! Are you Australian?") They'll stare at me for a split second and then burst out laughing. I'll then usually say something like, "我是中国人。你知道是真的!" ("I'm Chinese. You know it's true!") We are best mates from here on out.

Backpack, congratulations, your attitude is indeed one that will help you learn Chinese.