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What is it about ourselves that is difficult?

blobbles (958 posts) • 0

With the recent threads about Chinese girl "advice" (or maybe bitching) I thought a good topic would be to turn it around on ourselves - what is it in Chinese - Western relationships that is difficult for the Chinese side to understand or come to terms with?

My wife tells me a lot that I am "too hardcore" (after she looked up the meaning!). Too focused on goals, which makes me unable to enjoy everyday life because I always strive for something more. I thought this applies actually more to a Western mind set that is drilled into us in school (goal setting - success mentality), but I think she is right and so are trying to change to focus more on appreciating what I have, enjoying just simple banter and relationships around me. She also doesn't like too much equality in the relationship sometimes, she wants to dominate in some areas and expects me to dominate in others. I thought this was telling in that I come from a culture where the feminist movement has taught men that we should allow women to be our equals everywhere and work on more traditionally feminine roles ourselves so we can meet them halfway in other areas. I find this a touch weird but have come to accept it... Mostly... There are other things too, this is the tip of the iceberg probably!

What do others wives/girlfriends /boyfriends/husbands say about you that they find annoying or difficult to handle /comprehend? Please leave your pride at the door if you are replying!

bluppfisk (398 posts) • 0

Now here's a discussion I'm willing to take part in. Local girls I'm dating here usually think I go out too much. Too much partying and of course drinking. And also, as you mentioned, the lack of domination in some areas. For example in what we are going to do together on a date. I'm used to find consensus with Western girls, whereas here you have to come up with an entire package.

yankee00 (1632 posts) • 0

Ha! The trimestrial reminder for Western males to not forget about that newly found masculinity. I almost forgot about that one.

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