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Do NOT marry a Chinese woman

alienew (422 posts) • +1

@michael: I think female hypergamy exists in various degrees in many places, including China and many western countries, and that male hypogamy is at least sometimes involved in western men's search for Chinese women to marry. Thing is, except on a strictly economic scale, the definitions of 'up' & 'down' may vary according to culture - & the economic scale is not the only relevant one - other scales can be involved, including, at the worst, racist attitudes and beliefs.

Dazzer (2813 posts) • +1

what is hypergamic move for her might also be hypergamic for him. maybe she get move up economically and he gets a new flush of romance and emotional security in later years. people can be loyal as well as mercenary at same time. if i was 20 something girl and looking for security mostly, an old man might be better marriage bet than middle age man, wealth being equaly. i will work hard to make life happy, if i can, for both of us. but life together will be shorter. then i am free to start new life.

vicar (817 posts) • -1

@michael2015

In that case there is hope yet and I will take up your insurance policy and extend my length of stay for another 40 years! Good times ahead...

alienew (422 posts) • 0

@dazzer: I accept your point, but note that the terms are used in social science to refer to social categories or classes, not simply in reference to individual desires (e.g., romance, emotional security, etc.). In other words, to achieve social or economic, or perhaps even political respect or power - yeah, people want emotional security as well, but that's a different issue.

alienew (422 posts) • 0

@dazzer: Yes, and in some circles in China, having a foreign husband can be a trophy matter as well, in addition to any possible economic advantages. But this can be contested in other circles on the basis of certain cultural assumptions, or at worst racist ones. And I also know of Chinese wives of 'white' Americans who were straight-out looked down upon for racist reasons in the US.
But then I think we're all aware of this.

vicar (817 posts) • +1

Talking about Chinese women marrying a western guy for his money...what about American women? Materialistically speaking, I would say far worse on average.

kurtosis (86 posts) • +3

Guess my wife and I are defying all stereotypes here. She's probably the most patient woman I've ever met in my life.

Hypergamy might be a thing - we all look for things we lack in our partners. I'm a rather impatient person, so finding a patient wife was a really good catch for me. She was also attracted to some traits of mine and chose to marry me although her family was probably better off financially than mine and connected well-enough that she could easily marry a richer person than me.

But I think if a person isn't dirt poor, he or she won't look for money in a partner. Other factors are having a much stronger influence on happiness in life - and I guess that's what we all want out of a relationship in the end of the day.

Nevertheless, people from poor backgrounds who often had to worry about money (which, unfortunately, still applies to many people in China) might believe that money is their biggest problem - and feel accordingly attracted to a person who they believe can offer them an escape from poverty.

Liumingke1234 (3297 posts) • 0

If I were to suddenly become single again( I don't plan on remarrying) my next girlfriend would defintely be Asian(Chinese, Japanese or Korean).

Niconanhai (30 posts) • +1

I am married with my Chinese wife for 10 years now, before that i was married to a Dutch wife for 30 years.
If i was to take the choice again i would mary a Chinese wife from the start, i am totally happy with her.

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