I've heard from Chinese men that they are bemused at westerners choice of girlfriends/wives. Apparently westerners go for the ugly ones. Part of that is perhaps down to cultural definitions of beauty. But looking at foreigner's (long term) girlfriends/wives, they are rarely very pretty. I think this may be down to three other reasons:
1) Foreigners are choosing from a relatively small pool of women with good English and who are outlandish/brave enough to bring a foreigner to meet the parents.
2) Westerners are wary of gold diggers (common and as far as I can tell, a fairly acceptable life strategy in China), which may make them automatically suspicious of women who seem to be 'out of their league'.
3) Western tend to find it easier with the ladies here than in the west, mostly because they are in limited supply, unlike Chinese men. This means that if they settle, they usually prefer to do it with someone they have a good connection with - not just sexually - but on a friendship level. The chances are that the girl they have with the best connection with as a friend will not be the most beautiful one.
MM randomly throws a bait.
Everyone rushes over to it like famished dogs wanting to tear up a piece of meat, while he watches from over the cage.
I'm glad I got to read some of the heart-warming stories by JJ et al on that old thread
@blobbles: I couldnt agree more.
Plus, some underestimate the language and cultural barrier that makes it even more difficult. And those who couldnt get a partner in the West, come to China or other Asian countries and get all of a sudden all the attention from the girls and start acting like Don Juan because they are not used to all the attention. And Im not sure whether those guys can actually distinguish between a gold digger and a nice girl.
@Daithi: Sorry I dont wear high heels either.
@Dazzer: Asking someone to put him/herself in your position has nothing to do with "playing the gender card". But still, I dont think most foreign guys know how different it can be if you are a foreign girl in China. Just take it as seeing China from a different perspective.
And I do wonder why people who have a go at others most of the time, get so offended when someone just asks "Gentlemen in China?"
Kate Kunming, I am willing to listen without judging you. What is it like to be an expat female in Kunming/China?
Didn't realize the OP is a psychologist as well as a chef and China connisseur. Kindly reminder to stay on topic, we are discussing how to meet "nice Chinese women".
My contribution: nice Chinese women are every where, be a decent caring human being and you'll notice them. The tougher problem is how to get them to like a loser laowai who thinks they're hotter then shait. That, I don't have answer to.
Why did you just totally ignore atwillden's question? If it's because he used your name, I'll re-ask without, so you can answer.
Bigger question—didn't you often post about how great living like a local with your Chinese gf was? This presumes you in fact had one and knew where to meet them, so then point of this discussion is....?
Hookers. They'll be nice, but it'll cost ya.
Yes! But they are still more economical than getting married. That'll cost you even more!